The LEFT-HANDED Business Proposition

5 11 2013

I have been trying to get some response from Mark Fuller, of WET.

dubai-fountain-620x324I believe that there’s an avenue that this Genius HASN’T tapped…YET. Even though I’m NOT a part of  BRAIN-” TRUNK” of his Company I “COULD” be one of the longest RHIZOMES ever recorded.



(rung by WET Hammers.)

I can’t remember when the thought first spit-balled my brain. I was standing by a dog peeing on the neighbor’s ‘GIrl with a Dolphin’, ( She said that it was a copy of some famous sculpture in Holland. ) The sunlight made white-gold sparkles when the Spitz’s leg shadow moved for balance against the overcooked Oatmeal, fake stone that the “Super-Store” had ordered for their TWO-Hundred, TWENTY-FIVE “CAUCASIONAL” regioned acres.

My Grand-Father had a few acres of farmed land just inside this monied, little Hovel of a town in the mid-western center of this Country. (The exact topographical integers AREN’T your business.) The streets were, artfully, named for the lifestyle of the time… Morning, South,North and Evening “STREETS”, the church on the town square had a portrait of a relative of one of the past Presidents. Stern old fellow, in fact that may have been his name… first, or last. The property sat over a natural, underground river that gave the house water that gave its gunk to the Limestone that it wandered through to get to us. (Someone got into HUGE trouble for passing off CITY WATER for “NATURAL SPRING” about fifteen years ago. “ALASKAN FALLS” was the counciled “little-white-LIE” that NO-ONE, “as yet” named, has been tried for yet.)
As kids we had squirt-guns galore to rustle up some cool fun during the Summer months. Balloons were the air granades tossed over the corner of the house were ‘SOMEONE’ would always believe that they were clever… well trained by every Hollywood western, or War movie.

The “WHIRLIGIG” type of lawn sprinkler had little ability for artistic expression, at first, until the “‘twist” open / closed, spray radius adjusters were added to the Hardware Store’s arsenal for Homeowners to have a flat, green ‘pasture’ that looked like Scarlett’s front portico’s division between the driveway and the Hitchin’ post. We’d take the old, broke down ones and re-bend the arms, then we’d drill out or put a piece of something to force into the thing and drill it with a smaller hole, so that the water shot farther. All the while finding different combinations to play with the neighbors’ heads and sensibilities.

Getting older, then purchasing a home I often think about doing some of those same things to “CREATE” while doing the mundane acts of “ho-moaner-shi_”.

BUT… one day I was able to “move UP” into an “ABODE”, a place with some real room for a one / one-hundredth of the east wing Garden of the “WHITE HOUSE”. At 100′ by 40′ the area gave me enough room that the “best half” couldn’t say “NO” to the buoyed ‘hood’ she’d married. I went to a site that downloaded a FREE cad “HOME PROJECT” for me to begin with. Mastering that took almost two years of using words forbidden by my Grand-Mother. As the idea became more Honorable than ornery I began the task of sizing an cutting, after scraping the twice-a-month fertilized sod from the target site. Digging  a concave into the dirt began the “AHM-HERST ASWAN”. It WAS gonna look “DAM” good. The lining was placed, as the “light-years” lengths of moisture avenues for the “dis-play”…

What I haven’t told you “of” is that I’d included some Wind Chimes, to hang over various sections, thereby being “in the way” of some of the spouts designed. Along with that is that the supports FOR those chimes hid small capillary tubes to SPIN the ‘clappers’ set to revolve inside the various tubing, creating a “bowing” effect. A LOT of work for a kid that would have been LABELED as “one” (to be) “LEFT BEHIND”.

The water bill “isn’t THAT BAD”. And the next stage of development is to light the traveling spouts of water that HAMMERS the chime. I’ll let you know in a few years how the MISS-“US” has dealt with my obsession. The goal is to be able to coordinate the “party” music(s) with the fountain, ( My “Belle”, Michelle has a dream of winning the city “Best Home” contest.), well enough that when either of the ‘spring decide to “JUMP” into ADULTHOOD… and MARRY, that we’ll allow a bizarre “WESTMINSTER / HOLLY-WEIRD background sound-track to the Affaire. Here’s to “days of OLD”.




say sump'in n'telligent!

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