My Daughter Uses a Different Last Name

14 05 2009

Even though I held her after the OB-GYN delivered her to this world, after I held her as the Nurses poked her with so many needles that I cried for her. She signs with a different last name.

Even when we walked so many miles together, with only ONE set of footprints, my shoulders never felt tired. She could draw some of the greatest pictures on the computer before she could spell her name.

I did give her a learning disability, but also the tools I’d learned to “cheat” the embarrassments. Tools for a future without excuse.

But what does one do to tell ones offspring that the “life” you can provide is that of incessant “I’m sorries” and “I’ll make it up to you”. With the eternal “I forgot” to give her sentence structure constant negatives, coupled to the wondrous “WHAT IF” ?

When I was to participate “as Parent” I was called a traitor for attempting to “see” BOTH sides of the “altercations”, because that is what she’ll have to do “when” she becomes a ‘PARENT’… parents are different these days, their child is the only one “RIGHT” these days.

What few things I could teach are wrong, due to the ‘fact’ that I have a substantively abusive lifestyle that skews her receptiveness, as well as the family’s. There is no Academy Award for my [ “wrestling“] skills, no “thank you” for the constant attempts. And those times when I’ve succeeded to be “a Parent”, she can’t see it, I’m ‘trans-parent’. That “gossamer guy”.

But, oh the times when I’m “on it”, she will count the times on one finger, ( I believe her Mother still holds her hand tightly.), thank goodness it’s NOT “that one”.

She does own a very nice phone, it answers “IF I WERE A BOY”… I don’t think she knows my phone’s answer, it’s a “one-way” calling package. But she IS professional.

After TWELVE YEARS of going to public schools, (There WAS an endorsement/ introduction to a “GIRL’S SCHOOL”, but “the decision” wasn’t mine.), I’ve been invited to GRADUATION, she SHOULD have been HONOR SOCIETY, but was scuttled. I guess that it would have been embarrassing for the “NORMAL” student to [\”grock\”]. For the years she’s been a musician I have yet to initially recognize her place in the programs… Because ‘ My Daughter uses a different last name…

I HOPE that she becomes famous, it’ll keep her “history” clean.

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